Learning to walk with lines of Poetry

I'm interested in art of writing poems free from structure. I have couple of poems but need more work. I'm open to suggestion by making comment on them. Introducing elements such as sound, sight, smell and comedy. Though is ironic having roots to The land of Punt.

Nomad to gypsy in nomans land
my mind spinning in instantaneous velocity
journeying in travesties like travelacity
My breathe ripping like Adam from eve
My virgin lungs gasping for air in grieve
Where is it going? Oh, they enlighten me,
it's on terminal leave!
Cutting streamlines on casting call in comatose
conniving characters eating adipose
They tell me it's blazing in here quit wheezing
Soaked in smoke my soul skied into convulsing
it looks like birth tree
it bears my affairs need of repair
they say its diagnosed with leisurewear by
tyrant in despair.

This poem come to light while @ shiisha Cafee. it sort of talks about the experience of smoking
shiisha @ Gypsy's.